Tourniquet
by strawberry-pocky-luvr
Summary: Sango tries to escape beatings and betrayal by committing suicide. WARNING: character death
1. Chapter 1

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A/N: This is my first story, so please be nice! If you like it, I may post more… as of right now I'm not sure how it will be liked, so I'll keep it a one-shot. Please review and enjoy! I don't own the song Tourniquet by Evanescence nor do I own the manga/anime InuYasha.

WARNING: character suicide

"Talking"

'Thinking'

_Flashbacks_

**Lyrics**

* * *

**Sango's POV**

I'm so tired of it, all of it! I just want it to end!

**I tried to kill the pain,**

**But only brought more**

**So much more**

The knife, and what it represents, looks so enticing! No more pain… My wrists out in offering, the knife slices deep, and a crimson waterfall appears.

**I lay dying**

**And I'm pouring crimson regret and betrayal**

**I'm dying**

No more beatings…

* * *

_He was drunk again. The lash of his whip stung, but I kept the whimpers in. To let him hear would only give him satisfaction and earn me more beatings. To show weakness was not allowed by him… my own father…_

* * *

No more betrayals…

* * *

_I hid behind the bush, whimpering in pain. There is my boyfriend Miroku, making out with the class slut. 'Oh God, make it stop, make the pain stop please! It hurts so much! I trusted him to give up his lecherous ways…'_

* * *

**Praying, bleeding and screaming**

**Am I too lost to be saved?**

**Am I too lost?**

My vision starts to fade, my life is ending fast. My only regret is I'm leaving my friends… and my love. How can I still love him? Oh God, just let it end!

**My God my tourniquet**

**Return to me salvation**

**My God my tourniquet**

**Return to me salvation**

I haven't talked to him since then, won't let him explain. I don't want to hear his excuses… Will he even care that I've killed myself? I doubt it, he was just using me.

**Do you remember me?**

**Lost for so long**

**Will you be on the other side?**

**Or will you forget me?**

The blood on my wrists starts to congeal. I pick the dried blood off and let the blood start flowing again.

**I'm dying, praying, bleeding and screaming**

**Am I too lost to be saved?**

**Am I too lost?**

**My God my tourniquet**

**Return to me salvation**

**My God my tourniquet**

**Return to me salvation**

**I want to die!!!**

* * *

Miroku's POV:

A loud persistent banging sound interrupted my sleep. I cursed as I fell off my futon. "This had better be good" I growled as I opened my door. InuYasha was on the other side.

"Something has happened to Sango, I can feel it!" InuYasha yelled, "We have to go and quick!" I ran out the door after his retreating back. 'Please let her be okay!' I prayed to Buddha. We raced over to Sango's house, breaking quite a few laws. Once there, we raced to the backyard where we could climb up a tree to Sango's window. InuYasha clambered up first, and I followed him. As he reached the window, he looked in and turned pale. "Miroku" InuYasha breathed, "I think Sango is dead…" I pushed past InuYasha and looked in. There was Sango, splayed across the floor, with blood staining the carpet around her. I bashed the window in, the sound of falling glass tinkling but not waking Sango up, and scrambled over the sill. "Sango" I breathed as I raced over to her. As I touched her neck, I found a pulse. It was very slight. "InuYasha, she's still alive!" I exclaimed. He climbed into the window, passed me his shirt, and I ripped it up for bandages. We wrapped her wrists tightly, but her pulse was fading fast. I sat behind her, moved her head to my lap, kissed her forehead, and prayed. InuYasha frantically called 911. After a bit, we heard sirens in the distance. Her pulse was almost gone, so we yelled at Sango to hold on a little longer.

* * *

Sango's POV

As my breath leaves my body, I feel something wrapping around my wrists and cutting off the blood flow.

**My God my tourniquet**

**Return to me salvation**

**My God my tourniquet**

**Return to me salvation**

**My wounds cry for the grave**

**My soul cries for deliverance**

My eyes struggle feebly to open as I hear InuYasha and Miroku yelling at me, their tears dripping onto my face.

**Will I be denied?**

"I'm sorry," I struggle to say, "Love you both." And my body went limp, my eyes closing.

**Christ**

**Tourniquet**

**My suicide**

* * *

-Fin-

Questions, comments: review! (Advice also very appreciated!)


	2. Chapter 2

**CHAPTER 2:**

**SANGO'S POV:**

A bright white light greeted my blurry eyes. I squinted and wondered if I was finally in heaven or if this was some sort of twisted and fucked up joke. A sound of beeping caught my ears, and I groaned. 'Please let this be a joke' I prayed to God, 'Please tell me that I am not still alive!' The beeping got louder and louder until it seemed to be surrounding me, mocking my continued existence. I stated panicking, and the beeping got faster. The sound of someone running towards my bed sounded over the beeps as my body started lurching and my heart beat erratically before flat lining. 'Yes!' I thought. Someone shouted clear, and a jolt ran through my body, slamming me against the gurney. But they couldn't save me this time. This time there was no demon InuYasha and monk Miroku to save my life, and I was determined to die. My breath left my body and my heart stopped again. 'Finally' I thought happily, as I drifted off.

**MIROKU'S POV:**

The doctors expected Sango to wake up soon, but I knew the truth. She didn't want to wake up, and I knew why; because of me… What a sad thought, the one person you would do anything in the world for wanted to die because of something you did. InuYasha sat next to me on the hard hospital chairs, waiting as I did, but glaring at me at the same time. He also knows what I did, but unlike Sango, he knows why. That doesn't make him any less likely to kill me when he gets the chance, however. His ears perk up, and the sound of harsh breathing comes from Sango's room. Her heart monitor speeds up, and the ER doctors run over to see what's happening. Her heart monitor flat lines and they shock her heart. It doesn't help, nothing will when she is this determined to die. InuYasha runs over to help, but I just sit there with my head resting on my palms which are resting on my knees. Nothing I do could ever help, especially since she wants to die to escape me. Her heart settles out again, but I wonder when it will truly be over. Sounds callous, right? I only want what she wants, though. Even if we do save her, she'll just try and kill herself again. I just want to save her from the pain she is feeling… I sighed, not knowing what to do.

"Miroku!" InuYasha growled at me, "How can you just sit there and watch her die? I thought you loved her! If you really love her, save her! You know you can, all you have to do is tell her the truth about what she saw!"

"I can't do that," I sighed, "and even if I did, she would not believe me, she never did…" My eyes misted, thinking over all the times my love Sango had broken my heart by slapping me and questioning if I actually loved her. I truly do love her, with all my heart. I always have, every since we met as children. She was beautiful, even then, with her long black hair, deep chocolate eyes, and athletic body. I was forbidden to talk to her, after all she was the daughter of a prominent person and I just a lowly orphan. But, she befriended me, defended me, and eventually loved me. Ever since the time I first met her, I felt as if I had known her all my life, as if she was what was missing in my life. We had such fun together… But she was very insecure, and always doubted my love for her. She was belittled by her father for being a daughter when he had wanted a son. Her mother and baby brother had died in a car accident going to pick Sango up, and her father always blamed Sango for it. The first time he beat her, she came to the monastery I was living at right after. I bound her wounds as the monks had taught me, and cursed the man that did this to her. I urged her to call the police, but she refused. And so the trend continued. He got drunk, beat her almost to death, Sango came to me, I healed her and tried to convince her to call the police, and we got into an argument that ended with her storming out the door. Each time she came to me, I died a little inside. Sango slid deeper and deeper into depression, and I did my best to help her out of it. The first time I found her cutting, I ran her to the hospital and tried to get help for her, but she refused, like always… 'But this time, this time it's going to be different' I thought, 'this time I'm going to save her whether she wants me to or not!' A determined feeling settled in my heart, and I looked up at InuYasha. "I may not be able to tell her the truth, but I'm damn well going to save her!" I told him. And I left the waiting room.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3, the Confrontation**

**AN:** song is Fix You by the Offspring

**Miroku's POV:**

I stormed out of the hospital, hoping I was in time to catch Sango's father after he left work but before he started drinking. If he had already started drinking, he wouldn't be sensible enough to listen to me. With me, I brought all the pictures I had taken over the years of Sango's injuries, both self-inflicted and the ones he inflicted. If he didn't listen to reason, I was finally going to do the right thing and go to the police with the evidence. Sango may hate me for life because of it, but at least she would be safe. I can't take seeing her hurt anymore… I would rather kill myself than hurt her…

I passed Sango's house, searching for her father's car. It was in the driveway already, so I passed the house by a mile and then parked. It wouldn't do for the bastard to know I was here to kick his ass! I crept up to the door, listening inside for noises, then backed up about a foot and kicked the door in. Sango's father looked up from where he was sitting on the floor. I stalked over and slapped his face. "Look what you have done to your daughter!" I yelled at him, throwing the pictures at his semi-drunk figure. "She's in the hospital and here you are, shit-faced, on the floor, not giving a shit. You are a bastard and not worthy of her or your dead wife! Sara must be turning in her grave right now! She would be pissed to see what you have become, and she would have left you, taking Sango with her." Tears streamed down my face as I yelled at him, kicking him viciously in the stomach. "You aren't worth anything! The police are going to learn about what you have done to her, of that I can assure you!" I gave him one last kick, and started toward the door, ignoring his pleas for me to stop. My next stop was to go to the police with the pictures and tapes of Sango describing her abuse. She would hate me for it, but it would stop the abuse. I walked outside, just as a police car pulled up. A male police officer walked out. "Are you Mr. Hitoshi?" He asked me. I shook my head no.

"He's inside." I said, "I'm his daughter Sango's boyfriend. Are you here to talk to him about her?" I asked.

"Yes, I am." He said, "Why?" he added suspiciously.

"You will want to look at these pictures before you go in, and listen to these tapes. He's been abusing her since her mother died. I never said anything until now because she didn't want me to. But enough is enough. He needs to be put in jail!" I fumed. As I talked, he was looking at the pictures, his eyebrows raised. He walked back over to his cruiser, and got in. Ten minutes later, he came back out. "Is there any way we can get Sango to admit to a judge that he was abusing her?" he asked. I shook my head.

"There's no way in hell she will admit it. It took a long time for her to tell me this, and she told me that she would never ever talk to me again if I told anyone. She doesn't want anyone to ever know." The policeman frowned.

"We have enough to arrest him, but if she doesn't testify in court, there's no way we can pin it on him. His lawyers would have a field day with it."

"There's no guarantee that she's even going to wake up…" I said sadly. "But if she wakes up, I'll do what I can to convince her. Are you going to arrest him?" I ask. "Yes, there's an arrest warrant on its way with another cruiser." He said.

"You shouldn't have any problems arresting him, he's completely shit-faced" I told the officer as I walked away. It was time for me to go and join Sango in the Hospital and make sure she was okay. But first, I had a stop to make at the monastery. Maybe there's something I can do to help Sango wake up…

**Later that night, Miroku POV:**

I sat in the seat next to Sango's bed, InuYasha on the other side, both of us holding her hands. A circle of monks surrounded us in the dark, candle-lit room, chanting a healing prayer. InuYasha and I transferred our energy to her, focusing the energy on healing both physical and mental wounds. The monks transferred their energy to us so that we didn't get weak. Their chant bound her soul to her body, ensuring that it would not leave before its time. Hopefully, our efforts would not go to waste. We let the energy slowly trickle to a stop as the chant wound down. Now, all we had to do was wait. I stiffly got up, my legs having gone to sleep, and walked over to the man who had raised me. I bowed my head in respect, "Thank you" I told him gratefully, and "we will let you know when she wakes up." I assured him. They left, and I walked back over to my seat to wait. "You can leave you know," I told InuYasha.

"Hell no! She's my sister; I have more right to be here than you do." He argued.

"That's what I thought you would say." I sighed as I settled in for a long night. The heart monitor gave off a comforting beep. I wished that there was more I could do, that I could fix her…

**She wakes up  
Rage and grace  
Pulling me closer, pushing away  
And me  
The sharpest thorn on your vine  
Twisting and turning  
We're all intertwined  
Broken wing  
Empty glass  
Words that scream and bounce right back  
She says, you know  
We'd all like to rearrange  
I wish I could ****fix you****  
And make you how I want you  
I wish I could ****fix you****  
And I wish you could fix me  
I wish I could heal you  
And mend ****where you are **** broken  
I wish I could heal you  
And I wish you could heal me  
Ha la la la  
A beaming sunrise buries the night  
The setting sun destroys the light  
Then she says, baby, I've gotta get going  
Cutting each other  
Without even knowing  
She sees a million stars like holes in the sky  
All God's tears for her they cry  
And I am in her rain**

**I wish I could ****fix you****  
And make you how I want you  
I wish I could ****fix you****  
And I wish you could fix me  
I wish I could heal you  
And mend ****where you are**** broken  
I wish I could heal you  
And I wish you could heal me**

**Broken wing**

**Empty glass**

**Words that scream and bounce right back**

**She says, you know**

**We'd all like to rearrange**

"So," InuYasha said, "What happened at her house? I hope you didn't kill him…"

"I was tempted…" I admitted "But no, I beat him up, threw the pictures in his face, and told him I was going to tell the police what he has done to Sango. When I left, a police officer had pulled up. Apparently the hospital told them her wounds were suspicious. I showed him everything, and then he went and talked to dispatch. When he came out, he had an arrest warrant. But, unless we can get Sango to testify in court, we can't keep him in jail…"

"Shit!" InuYasha exclaimed.

"My thought exactly!" I told him.

"We are going to need a miracle for that," InuYasha added, and then settled in his seat to go to sleep. I too settled down to take a short nap, knowing that a true sleep would be long in coming tonight.

**Later that night, Sango's POV**

Darkness with a fuzzy glare from monitors filled my vision. A weight pressed against my side. Motion in the darkness distracted me from seeing who was using me as a pillow. I blinked, trying to see who was there.

"So," said a voice that was distinctly InuYasha, "You finally decided to wake up. Are you going to try to kill yourself again? I don't think that they will be able to save you next time. Hell, the monks had a hard time healing you! Why Sango? Why are you doing this?" He suddenly stood up from what I could barely see was a chair and paced around. "Don't you know I love you?" He looked at me pleadingly, needing an answer.

"I love you too InuYasha." I told him. "Honestly, I'm not sure what I'm doing anymore. Everything is just so screwed up. I just want the pain to go away! Is that such a hard thing to ask for?" He looked at me, as if trying to figure something out.

"You know it could have been ended a long time ago. All you ever had to do was go to the police about your dad." He said softly. I didn't bother to correct him. He thought I was talking about my dad when in reality I was talking about Miroku. "They arrested him, you know." He added.

"What?" I freaked.

"Apparently the hospital thought your bruises looked suspicious. The hearing is set for when you get out of the hospital. For now, he has a restraining order until you can testify against him. You need to do this Sango! This has gone on long enough! Your mother would have never let this happen! She would be ashamed to see what your father has become, and she would be upset that you let him do this to you. You used to be so much stronger than this Sango! Where is your fire! Where is the girl who punched our teacher in the face for calling me a useless demon? Where is the girl I became a blood sibling with?" InuYasha pleaded. I turned my head away, trying not to let his words affect me.

"I changed" softly I replied.

"Obviously," he snorted, "and not for the better! Will you do it? Will you testify? Stop letting him get away with this Sango! You can come and live with me; you know I have plenty of room for you."

"I will think about it." I told him.

"By the way," InuYasha added, "What you think you saw wasn't what you saw at all," And with that cryptic comment, he left the room. I stared after him, wondering what that meant. A movement on my left startled me, and I looked over to see Miroku thrashing as if in the grips of a nightmare.

"Why are you here?" I wondered softly aloud. 'But I won't let that affect me,' I thought to myself, 'he's still a cheating asshole!' Miroku's beautiful eyes fluttered open, and I had to remind myself of his infidelity. He has such beautiful eyes, such sad eyes. Miroku's eyes where the thing that attracted me in the first place, he has dark eyes full of pain.

"Hi," Miroku said to me. I closed my eyes and turned my head, refusing to acknowledge him. He gently grasped my chin and forced me to turn my face towards his, but I still refused to open my eyes. "Sango," he sighed softly. "Will you please let me explain what happened? If you still don't believe me after I explain I will never bother you again, so long as you promise to stand trial against your father."

"What makes you think I give a shit what your explanation is? You're a lying cheat Miroku." I snorted in disbelief. "As for my father's trial, what I decide to do has nothing at all to do with you. It is not any of your business anymore." A look flashed across his face, as if he had been struck. I refused to believe he was hurt by what I said; it was just a ploy to get on my good side, or so I thought. He sighed again, got up, and walked out of my hospital room. I refused to feel hurt by his leaving, after all wasn't that what I was after?

**Miroku's POV**

I got up slowly, trying not to show her just how much her remark had hurt me. As I turned away, a single tear slipped down my face. I walked out of her room, and more tears started falling. InuYasha looked up at me as I passed, concerned. I just shook my head, walked to the elevator, and left the hospital. 'Who knew love could hurt so much?' I pondered to myself. So I decided to do the one thing I thought would help Sango the most, never see her again. My car beeped as I unlocked it and I drove to the monastery.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

**Two weeks later, Sango's POV**

I haven't seen Miroku since he left my hospital room two weeks ago. According to InuYasha, no one has. I feel a little guilty and ashamed, but I try not to let it affect me. My wounds are almost healed, and I have been seeing the psychiatrist for the past week. I feel a little bit better about myself, not much, but enough to know I have a lot of work in front of me if I ever want to recover completely. InuYasha, with the help of Mandy (my therapist), has convinced me to testify against my father. The trial has been set for next Tuesday. I'm really nervous about it. If my father is released, I know I'm going to get killed this time. He will be so angry at me; I don't think he will hold back this time. I try not to let it worry me because I have no control over the jury. Instead, I focus on getting ready to leave this hospital. Today is the day I finally get to leave. InuYasha has already brought all of my things to his house so I don't have to relive bad memories. "Sango," InuYasha calls from the doorway, "Are you ready to leave?" he asked. I nodded to him, and watched as the doctor filled out my discharge papers. My 18th birthday had passed while I was in the hospital, so I can now legally live wherever I want, and take care of the hospital paperwork. Soon, we were leaving. The fresh air hits my face, and I smile sadly. I have missed being able to smell fresh air. At times like this, I am really glad I did not succeed at killing myself. I have my down days though, more bad than good. Those are the days I curse InuYasha and Miroku with everything I have in me. The journey will be a long one, but I hope someday I can look back on this time of my life and accept it.


End file.
